The Speedy White Comet soars on!

Sporting a 5-o'clock shadow and a black sequined outfit, the Comet opened his program with a quad toe (that's right, ya'll QUAD), triple toe combo. He then did a triple axel. And then a triple lutz. And now, the highlight: spastic ice-dancing. He looked like Edward Norton fighting with himself in "Fight Club. For effect, he did a little running man and ended, appropriately, with a sit'n'spin. Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn, you go Comet!

As Dorothy Hamil said, "He's layed down the gauntlet."

Fo' real, don't fuck with the Comet. He'll burn you.

Score: 90.66 -- highest total EVER in a the men's short program.