Do not mess with this daunting totaliterian 'stache.

The Belarussian election: A battle for liberty and freedom...or a battle of the more distinctive facial hair? You be the judge.

Witness the candidates:


This is Aleksandr Milinkevich. He is a former physicist. He sports a full beard, but it is grey and scruffy. Not the mark of a dictator.

Now, behold the "favorite," Aleksandr Lukashenko:

He has been coined "Europe's last dictator" by the US State Department. He threatened to declare any opposition protests a "terrorist act." He arrested and jailed many of Milinkevich's associates just for being Milinkevich's associates. He sports a mustache. It is an unnatural brown and quite menacing. Clearly, Lukashenko is making a strong statement with his upper lip.

Witness the scrutiny of these attentive voters:

Take this old man, for example. He is more attracted to Lukashenko's 'stache. Notice he is creeping over toward it and away from Milinkevich's weaker, less prevalent beard.


This woman takes a closer look at the candidates as Lukashenko's 'stache looks down upon here.


The people have "chosen." According to Belarus state results (which, of course, are under the power of the 'stache), Lukashenko won with 87 percent of the vote. Exit polls (that claim to be independent of the 'stache) recorded that "only" 47 percent of the population supported the 'stache.

Regardless, the 'stache remains -- bolder, browner and more bogus than ever.

Let's have a cultural exchange!

Bush once looked into the eyes of Putin and said he could see his soul. Yet, alas, we have finally come to a time when foreign policy scholars and practitioners are catching onto that Nonsense. In light of the re-growth of political animosity between Russia and the US (this is evident in looking at the US-Russia review* released last week), I propose a new peace mechanism -- Vitas, Russia's most mysterious pop-star. I propose that both Bush and Putin look into the eyes of this enigmatic man, whose website brags he is "the artist you've been waiting for." His simple message, "ulybnis" (smile), which he draws in a table full of cocaine, and his voice, which would make any eunich proud, transcends real politik. It transcends democracy, war, and nuclear proliferation. Wait no more! Bush, Putin, World: Pump up the volume, dim the lights, remove all glass items from your environs and brace yourself for the magic that is Vitas.



Thank God for youtube.com.

*For a link to the full review, click on the word "report" in the first paragraph of the article found here: http://www.antiwar.com/lobe/?articleid=8670